Let me be the artist,
Who paints your smiles with the colors of happiness!
Let me be the spring,
That gives life to the vales!

Let me be the ray of sun,
That wakes you up every morning with the golden dance of love!
Let me be the North Star,
That guides you on a starry night!

Let me wake up every morning,
To say I LOVE YOU!
Just the way I do,
Today, tomorrow and forever!

I lay thinking on my bed,
My thoughts wander aimlessly!

I look for an escape;
An escape to the world
I loved and held most
Dear but lost!

Thorns of the past prick me!
The future lies undecided!
The present is a gift;
A gift so grim and dire!

Help me!
I’m surrounded by vermin!
My sanity is lost!
I’m held up so high on a breakable thread!

Help me!

Im the tiger,
In the guise of the lamb.
Im the fallen angel,
In the guise of the resurrected!

Im a butterfly,
but I lost my wings,
I try to fly,
But Im still on the gruond!

I have nothing,
But I’m a snob!
So please be with me,
Im me and Im NOBODY!!!!!!

I LONGED FOR YOU LAST NIGHT,
I WAS CLOSE TO YOU,
YET I MISSED YOU!

I DANCED WITH YOU LAST NIGHT,
I WISH THE KISS WAS LONGER,
I REGRET I HAD TO PULL APART!
WHY DID I LEAVE YOU SO SOON LAST NIGHT?

I LOOKED IN YOUR EYES,
YOU IN MINE!

I HELD YOU CLOSE LAST NIGHT!
I WANTED TO HOLD YOU TIGHT TONIGHT TOO!
PLEASE LET ME IN!

IM AT YOUR DOORSTEP!

TO KUKU WITH ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD,

My heart yearns for your touch,
It also craves for a soft kiss,
All I can say is “I miss you so much!”,
When thinking of your soft kisses which are an eternal bliss!

You are my haven,
The person I care for most!
In my heart, you shall forever be graven.
Whilst for our love which is sublime, we can always toast!

Im your love, you are mine,
We shall always be one, yesturday, today and tomorrow!
In the name of our love which is divine,
I shall promise to be with you in all joy and sorrow!

I LOVE U KUKU!

WHY WAS I BORN?

Why was I born?
A question to which,
I have answers not!

Why was I born?
To fall, to cry, to be humiliated,
To lose face, to be complained
Or was it really to live with the pains of misery?

Why was I born?
To wake up each morning
With hopes held so high
And to start that day
With nothing but
Seeing those hopes being shattered
Like dew in the morning!

Why was I born?
To be talked about my minute weakness
In every face that I meet and
To live humiliated all my life.

Why was I born?
To be loved, to be kissed on the lips,
To share this miserable life with the person I love most,
And yet
To lose that love the very next moment.

Why was I born?
To be lost in a world of my own,
To live drenched in the pains of misery and
To laugh and smile when I really cry within my soul.

Why was I born?
To never be understood,
To never be loved and
Be rejected just like an old coin.

Why was I born?
To spend each day trying to forget
Thorny memories of my dark past,
And to think about how futile it is.

Why was I born?
A question to which,
I have answers not!
Why was I born?
It wasn’t my option!

Then what’s my option?
To live or die?

In the gloom of this dark night,
Our love blooms, as the hands reach twelve.

The darkness grows and wraps the room
With silence and solemnity. Its dark,
But I see the gentle curves of your body
As we move back and forth!

In secret we meet tonight. In the morning
In still silence, we shall part!
The world around us sleeps,
While we fuse to be one
In our cornucopia of love!

Every night,
At this same stolen hour and
In the same room in the gloom of the dark night,
We are none but one in mind, body and soul,
But,
As always we are to part,
As the golden Helios wakes up!

Ah!
What a difference it is then?

You and me!
Two but not one!
Two lost strangers in the world
Which we always wished was ours!

Minutes and seconds,
Rush past us,
Like a gust of wind.

Oh! How I wish for this stolen hour
From the world
To last forever!

I see a star falling; a falling star,
Gliding gently through the
Aeons of sparks
Which grace the night sky.

I see its tail,
And I wish quickly……………………….

Ah Love!
Let’s not break,
As I don’t want you to suffer just as me!

Come let us be one,
You and me,
In mind and soul and
Glide along this starry façade.

Many things happened and
Yet many more to happen,
But let us be one,
Now and forever,
Because, it’s your love that I crave for now,
And not your flesh!

Mistakes made and realized,
Hopes revived and wished for the best!
A cordial invitation, it is for this starry night:
(My earnest wish rather)
Let’s start once again, and
Renew our celebration of love.

I see a falling star and
Hope,
To be you and me forever,
But as one in mind and soul!

“And so it was I entered the broken world,
To trace the visionary company of love, its voice
An instant in the wind [I know not whither
hurled]
But not for long to hold each desperate choice.”

Hart Crane
The Broken Tower

In this quiet alley I walk,
Thinking about my past,
The present and the future.

Faces come and
Faces go.
Faces I know and
Faces I don’t.

Yet,
They all have two phrases
And they are –
“He’s a degenerate”,
“Friend of Oscar”.

Words kill people,
And these kill me!

My admittance is pure and true –
I’m gay.

But what can I do?
It’s how I’m made!
A weakness;
A weakness to crave for the love of men!

How well they see me!
The fault in my making.
It’s sad to know that I’m not normal,
But to me and my love, we are normal.

It’s the same love –
That she has him,
And he has for her,
That I nurture and cherish everyday for my love.

But what’s so different about us?
The fact;
The fact that we are two men loving each other?

A loveless marriage,
Is always a pain for me and her.

So ultimately,
I reach for the comforts of my flame,
(Another man to be true)
We share our lives together –
He and me,
Love and lust,
A perfect blend it is!

But why am I rejected?
Is it because I love him?
Or because you’ll think I’m a hazard
Or because I’m not normal?

Please accept me!
I’m just like you all.
I made of flesh, blood, bones and love,
Just like you, you, you and you!

The poem was written in loving memory of Hart Crane (1899 – 1932), American poet who committed suicide after an unsuccessful attempt to write an epic. In 1932, while returning home from Mexico, Crane jumped from a passenger ship and drowned himself. The persona has a deeper connection to Hart Crane as Crane himself was a homosexual who lived all his life rejected and discarded from society. It was after his death that his poems gained recognition.

May the Hart Crane’s soul rest in peace!
Amen!

In a cold and small garret
I live and
Feed myself on bread and coffee.

Many years have gone,
Yet many to come,
And all these days;
It was bread and coffee.

Days spent in galleries,
And nights spent with glamorous luminaries.

All these,
I recall with great delight,
But
Now I’m a forgotten man!

I’m aged and frail now,
The mind is weak too!
While the brush and palette on my palm –
Shivers with tremulous pace.

I still remember the enchanting premiers;
Lords and Sirs in black tailcoats and ascot ties,
Ladies dressed in gowns, high and bright.
All lined up to feast their eyes on my pieces.

It’s all a distant dream now!
And
A sweet memory from the past!

I am
But
Nothing more than,
A Forgotten Artist!