For You!

TO KUKU WITH ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD,

My heart yearns for your touch,
It also craves for a soft kiss,
All I can say is “I miss you so much!”,
When thinking of your soft kisses which are an eternal bliss!

You are my haven,
The person I care for most!
In my heart, you shall forever be graven.
Whilst for our love which is sublime, we can always toast!

Im your love, you are mine,
We shall always be one, yesturday, today and tomorrow!
In the name of our love which is divine,
I shall promise to be with you in all joy and sorrow!

I LOVE U KUKU!

WHY WAS I BORN?

Why was I born?
A question to which,
I have answers not!

Why was I born?
To fall, to cry, to be humiliated,
To lose face, to be complained
Or was it really to live with the pains of misery?

Why was I born?
To wake up each morning
With hopes held so high
And to start that day
With nothing but
Seeing those hopes being shattered
Like dew in the morning!

Why was I born?
To be talked about my minute weakness
In every face that I meet and
To live humiliated all my life.

Why was I born?
To be loved, to be kissed on the lips,
To share this miserable life with the person I love most,
And yet
To lose that love the very next moment.

Why was I born?
To be lost in a world of my own,
To live drenched in the pains of misery and
To laugh and smile when I really cry within my soul.

Why was I born?
To never be understood,
To never be loved and
Be rejected just like an old coin.

Why was I born?
To spend each day trying to forget
Thorny memories of my dark past,
And to think about how futile it is.

Why was I born?
A question to which,
I have answers not!
Why was I born?
It wasn’t my option!

Then what’s my option?
To live or die?

A STOLEN HOUR

In the gloom of this dark night,
Our love blooms, as the hands reach twelve.

The darkness grows and wraps the room
With silence and solemnity. Its dark,
But I see the gentle curves of your body
As we move back and forth!

In secret we meet tonight. In the morning
In still silence, we shall part!
The world around us sleeps,
While we fuse to be one
In our cornucopia of love!

Every night,
At this same stolen hour and
In the same room in the gloom of the dark night,
We are none but one in mind, body and soul,
But,
As always we are to part,
As the golden Helios wakes up!

Ah!
What a difference it is then?

You and me!
Two but not one!
Two lost strangers in the world
Which we always wished was ours!

Minutes and seconds,
Rush past us,
Like a gust of wind.

Oh! How I wish for this stolen hour
From the world
To last forever!

A WISH UPON A FALLING STAR

I see a star falling; a falling star,
Gliding gently through the
Aeons of sparks
Which grace the night sky.

I see its tail,
And I wish quickly……………………….

Ah Love!
Let’s not break,
As I don’t want you to suffer just as me!

Come let us be one,
You and me,
In mind and soul and
Glide along this starry façade.

Many things happened and
Yet many more to happen,
But let us be one,
Now and forever,
Because, it’s your love that I crave for now,
And not your flesh!

Mistakes made and realized,
Hopes revived and wished for the best!
A cordial invitation, it is for this starry night:
(My earnest wish rather)
Let’s start once again, and
Renew our celebration of love.

I see a falling star and
Hope,
To be you and me forever,
But as one in mind and soul!

WHY DID IT HAVE TO START LIKE THIS?

To me life is the most unanswerable problem in the world as it is to everyone else. But at the age of seventeen, most of us do not have many problems to face other than a couple of exams or either a problem with your girlfriend or your boyfriend! At this age most of us would be playing with our PSP or chatting with friends on Skype all night long and this is complete bliss for them.

But unfortunately for this poor and wretched soul; that’s me, my life has never been a bed of roses at some point or the other. It has always been the uphill climb and I still cannot see either a plateau or someplace where I can rest or the downward climb which all people love and find when they climb up. For me its still that harsh and rocky uphill climb.

Most of you, who will be reading this post, might still be under your parents enjoying the happiness and the pleasure of living with your folks but for me, its all different. Currently, Im on the search of jobs to feed myself and stop myself from dying of starvation.

Life is so funny at times. Just think about the sudden twists and turns in your life which we forget and label as “it happened for the good”. Believe me! In my opinion anything never happens for the good. For me my life as a student was spent so badly. I never could finish my A/Ls the way I wanted knowing that the potential was in me to finish just the way I planned. During this time a great hindrance, which I don’t like to mention, obstructed my path leaving me helpless other than to start a cursed American Degree. Now I don’t think I will be able to finish that either because that same obstcale is hindering my path once again. What can I do? Nothing other than to hope and pray that things would turn out fine.

Im still seventeen and I have a whole life ahead of me! But am I hope that it too will be miserable and sordid as it is now? I have nothing to lose in my life right now except for my family and the person I love most in my life! Everything’s so messed up.

Why did my life have to start like this…………………………….?

THE DEGENERATE? (I’m just like you’ll)

“And so it was I entered the broken world,
To trace the visionary company of love, its voice
An instant in the wind [I know not whither
hurled]
But not for long to hold each desperate choice.”

Hart Crane
The Broken Tower

In this quiet alley I walk,
Thinking about my past,
The present and the future.

Faces come and
Faces go.
Faces I know and
Faces I don’t.

Yet,
They all have two phrases
And they are –
“He’s a degenerate”,
“Friend of Oscar”.

Words kill people,
And these kill me!

My admittance is pure and true –
I’m gay.

But what can I do?
It’s how I’m made!
A weakness;
A weakness to crave for the love of men!

How well they see me!
The fault in my making.
It’s sad to know that I’m not normal,
But to me and my love, we are normal.

It’s the same love –
That she has him,
And he has for her,
That I nurture and cherish everyday for my love.

But what’s so different about us?
The fact;
The fact that we are two men loving each other?

A loveless marriage,
Is always a pain for me and her.

So ultimately,
I reach for the comforts of my flame,
(Another man to be true)
We share our lives together –
He and me,
Love and lust,
A perfect blend it is!

But why am I rejected?
Is it because I love him?
Or because you’ll think I’m a hazard
Or because I’m not normal?

Please accept me!
I’m just like you all.
I made of flesh, blood, bones and love,
Just like you, you, you and you!

The poem was written in loving memory of Hart Crane (1899 – 1932), American poet who committed suicide after an unsuccessful attempt to write an epic. In 1932, while returning home from Mexico, Crane jumped from a passenger ship and drowned himself. The persona has a deeper connection to Hart Crane as Crane himself was a homosexual who lived all his life rejected and discarded from society. It was after his death that his poems gained recognition.

May the Hart Crane’s soul rest in peace!
Amen!

THE FORGOTTEN ARTIST

In a cold and small garret
I live and
Feed myself on bread and coffee.

Many years have gone,
Yet many to come,
And all these days;
It was bread and coffee.

Days spent in galleries,
And nights spent with glamorous luminaries.

All these,
I recall with great delight,
But
Now I’m a forgotten man!

I’m aged and frail now,
The mind is weak too!
While the brush and palette on my palm -
Shivers with tremulous pace.

I still remember the enchanting premiers;
Lords and Sirs in black tailcoats and ascot ties,
Ladies dressed in gowns, high and bright.
All lined up to feast their eyes on my pieces.

It’s all a distant dream now!
And
A sweet memory from the past!

I am
But
Nothing more than,
A Forgotten Artist!

BE WHO YOU ARE

Fear not!
To be who you are,
Because it’s you,
And always be glad to be who you are.

Fear not!
To be who you are
And lead the way,
Because thousands shall follow you.

Fear not!
To be who you are
And charge the world with your voice,
Because many shall listen to you.

Fear not!
To be who you are
And tread your heart’s way,
Because in the end, that’s where your happiness lies.

Fear not!
To be who you are,
And reach out,
Because there’s many needing your help!

Fear not!
To be who you are,
And pull out that mask,
Because behind it, lives the real you.

Fear not!
To be who you are,
And try to motivate,
Because there’s so many to inspire you.

Fear not!
To be who you are,
And let your imagination run wild
Because one day, you’ll paint the world with it.

Fear not!
To be who you are,
And ask for something,
Because ultimately your heart’s wish shall come true.

Fear not!
To be who you are,
And try not to hide the man and the woman in you,
Because there’s always a man and a woman in all of us.

Fear not!
To be who you are,
And share the darkest secret in you with the person you care the most,
Because it lightens your heart.

Finally,
And
Once Again………………….

Fear not!
To be who you are,
Because it’s you,
And always be glad to be who you are!

REACHING FOR YOU

I open the door,
And enter the room……..

The room that was once yours,
The room that is still mine,
The room that was once ours,
The room that was closed until now………..

I enter,
And
Memories conjure up in my mind….

Oh Darling! Where are you?

I shall not know!
I see your departure,
To live in a land that’s so distant;
A land which I can’t reach in minutes or in years.

Tears come and go,
And
Flood our room with feelings of love and loss.

I look around!
The room is empty;
But
I feel your presence
But
Where are you?

Oh! There u are!
Making love with me,
Kissing me on the four poster,
Lying exhausted on the big bed,
And once again
Kissing me on the couch.

I can see you,
I feel your breath on me,
I feel your warmth on me,
I can hear you whispering,
I can smell your scent even after all these days,
And yet,
Where are you?

I see you everywhere,
I can feel your breath and hear your whisper,
I also feel your warmth and heart-beat,
And I start reaching out for you;
To feel you and touch you,
To kiss and make love once again
But
Where are you?

A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

Laced between the sensations of love and lust,
We kiss softly, yet passionate and fierce.
I try to close my eyes but I don’t want to,
Because it’s your face that’s in front of me.

Thoughts so distant come to my mind,
Filled with dreams with you right by my side.
Your eyes search for my love and nothing more,
While mine search for you in the depths of my heart.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you,
Not a second goes by that makes my heart grow fonder.
Each morning; a fresh one,
Every night; a union and an achievement.

Come Love! Walk with me
Down memory lane.

Oh! Look, there’s our first meeting,
And don’t I look clumsy during our first kiss?
Feast your eyes on the day of the school ball,
You; dressed in white satin and chiffons.

Let’s walk down the empty park lane,
To see us laced in each other’s arms once again.
There’s the night when we made love first.
Ah! There it is once again,
That moment when God made us look into each other’s eyes.

Look it’s us again,
Exhausted and wasted!!!!!!

Oh Sugar!
Come to me…..
Feel me……
Look into me……
And
Tell me,
Aren’t we a match made in heaven?